Jan 20, 2019 | Courses, Personal Development, Vision Board
Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rough roads; windy and straight roads. Many roads are on the map as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of marriage and family or others that lead to a fulfilling career with or without a family. There are roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and success, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.
Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is an intersection. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge of where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that you will choose the right one? Will you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?
Guess what-There are no guarantees!
You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realise about life. Choosing to do the right thing ( what even is the “right” thing) all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Certainly, fame and fortune do not guarantee happiness. Fast tracking your way up the corporate ladder by accepting a “favour” from somebody is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations.
Wrong decisions are always far clearer in hindsight.
Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one? It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realise its relevance. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong, but even a seemingly “bad” decision can produce some positive benefits. Taking the wrong path might turn into “the scenic route” where you discover new things. That bad career move might have given you a skill that you would not have otherwise achieved, or maybe a bad relationship created beautiful children that you cherish.
Take the risk: decide.
Since life offers no guarantee and you will never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the educated risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself stuck in a rut complaining that nothing ever goes right, or dreaming that “one day life will change”. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, as you discover more roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost aimless traveller or an accidental tourist of life. But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:
· Get as much information as you can about your situation.
You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.
· Identify and create options.
What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end. Remember there is rarely only one road to any given destination.
Consider this scenario. You wish to travel from Brisbane to Sydney – you have no time restraints to arrival time. Will you fly? Will you take a coach? Will you drive? Which highway will you take? There are many options, but in the end, all will see you arrive at your destination. Are any one of these paths “wrong?”
· Weigh the pros and cons of every option.
Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights into the consequences of such an option.
· Trust yourself and make that decision.
Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always in hindsight. So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.
Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive onlooker of your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.
· Take action and make the move.
The next step in making the decision is to take ACTION. After all, it is no good if you are at the intersection, with the brakes on and you decide to go right and do not move your foot to the accelerator. Without action, you will remain right where you are – good or bad decisions.
On my path in life, I am aiming to create a 10/10 life for myself in all areas. And you can too,
discover your path at risetorich.net
Jan 18, 2019 | Home and Environment, Personal Development, Vision Board
As I read blogs and self help books, I am always amazed at some of the true Rags to Riches stories that abound.
While I have never earned a huge salary, been unemployed for any long period of time or been even close to homeless, I have not often ever thought of my situation as being POOR.
Except for ONE DAY. Let me tell you about it.
The year was 1984, I had been working as a photographic assistant in an advertising agency in the city.
For a young 20 year old girl who was newly married, it was a glamorous position. It was very “Mad Men” with the ad execs ( both men and women) in suits, champagne lunches and celebrity “talent” often arriving in the office.
One of my duties at this job was relief receptionist to cover the lunch hour. I enjoyed this and was paid a small bonus for the extra work. All was going well, I loved the people and the job…UNTIL… I fell pregnant. Sadly 1984 did not have the equality of workplaces today and I was told that it was “not a good look” to have me in the office 🙁
I did manage to find another job from a friend and I was able to work a couple of days a week while some staff members were on holiday.
My husband was working full time and we actually got along reasonably well on the reduced wages. I had been planning on having to reduce our budget to one wage anyway in preparation for the baby’s arrival.
Hubby had found a new job at a large factory nearby, we had a decent car and very little debt. Things were looking good. 🙂 UNTIL.
One Friday hubby came home and said that the factory he worked for closed down over the Christmas break for 4 weeks!! As he had not been there very long, there would be no wages for that time. A Trip to Social Security to see if we were eligible for any assistance proved fruitless. Because he technically still had a job, we were not able to access any benefits. We knew if he quit that job, the likelihood of getting it back in January was slim at best.
So, together we looked at what we had left and formulated a plan. We would need to cover the 4 weeks of close down plus the one week when he went back to work before the first payday.
We could see we just did not have enough… So we moved from the house we were into a tiny one-bedroom flat, we back traded the car to a “sort of” ok one and we felt we were ok. We now had no debt, I paid rent upfront for the duration of the time we would need. All we needed was food, petrol and utilities money.
For Christmas that year, we asked for baby stuff and cash and we were looking OK. We gave family and friends Christmas gifts that I had bought throughout the year, nobody missed out, and I did not need to break the budget.
We even managed to have a couple of weekends away camping with friends over the Christmas break.
On Friday the 18th of January 1985, the last Friday before hubby was due to go back to work. Hubby filled up the car with petrol so he could get to work for the upcoming week and I went shopping with our last $20.
Keeping a couple of dollars aside for fresh milk and bread through the week, I spent that last few dollars on eggs, cheese, mince, onions, frozen mixed vegetables and some potatoes.
The resulting huge pot of mince, onions and vegies would turn into the following meal plan for that week :
- Savoury Mince on toast x 2
- Add some tomato paste and pasta from the pantry and have (sort of ) spaghetti bolognese x 2
- Add some mashed potato and grated cheese on top and call it shepherds pie x 2
- Add some to roast jacket potatoes
- And for the last night whatever was left over could get a tin of tomatoes and some pasta added and it turned into “minestrone”
We were quite proud of ourselves for managing so well at such a tough time. We had not asked family for any money at all, and I doubt they knew we were as skint as we were.
It was a stinking hot Brisbane day, so after dropping me back at the flat with the shopping, hubby and his friend were going out to Centenary Pool in Brisbane (about 20 minutes away from where we lived on the North side) to have a “play” They have high diving towers that “boys” like jumping off 🙂
I set about preparing the big stock pot with the mince mixture and by the time it was simmering away, I was sitting down watching TV.
The first indication that we may have had a problem that day, was it started raining. Then it rained HARDER, then the wind started. The wind was so ferocious I could see the glass sliding door bowing under the force. Then the hail began. At that point I got scared. 🙁 I was 8 months pregnant, on my own in a TINY flat with nowhere to go that felt safe.
Hubby and his friend had seen the storm coming from the high tower of the pool and had started heading home they made it roughly halfway when they got stuck in the hail. From their accounts, the hail was horizontal as it slammed through the back windscreen and broke the front. They were both huddled under the thick car seat covers of our friend’s car.
When they were able, they tried to make it home and they both said that when they came closer to our suburb they were both really scared for both their wives. It looked like a bomb zone.
When hubby got home, he called out for me as he could not find me. When I heard him, I called out and he found me in a curled-up mess hiding in the bottom of the tiny linen cupboard/broom cupboard in the flat. It had not been a fun afternoon 🙁
Our flat was totally devastated with not one single window left whole. The place was flooded the carpet was ruined, the curtains shredded and our bed was also soaked. When I had a look in the kitchen, that is when it hit me the hardest, my big pot of food for the ENTIRE WEEK had broken glass all through it.
There was no power or phone as the lines were all down. We could not contact anybody to see if they were ok. On the way back from town, Hubby had come through the suburb where my parents lived and said it was very badly damaged there too, but we had no way of knowing if we would be able to go there and the reports we were hearing on the radio in the car suggested we would not be able to get through. The inlaws lived approximately 50kms north and it was getting dark by this stage, so there was not much we could do but put a tarp on the floor to try and stay dry, blow up our camp mattress and attempt to get some sleep.
I remember we had sandwiches for dinner that night.
The next morning we were able to get a look at the damage. What a mess. Still no power. ( it would take a couple of days to come back on) and of course NO FOOD 🙁
This was absolutely the lowest point of my life. I honestly had NO IDEA what we were going to do.
Later that day, our landlord came to see the block of flats ( he owned the whole block) He said we could not stay there and gave us $50 in cash to help out until he could get the glass doors and carpets replaced. He also offered that we would have free rent for the time we were not able to live in the flat.
Not long after the landlord had been, hubby’s Mum came. We packed up what we could and spent the next couple of weeks at her house, before finally returning to a fully renovated flat.
It was quite some time before I could face the thought of making Savoury Mince 🙂
Here are a few news reports from that day
Brisbane Super Storm January 1985
The Big Storm
Dec 3, 2018 | Personal Development
I saw this quote on Pinterest today as a wall mural.
What a powerful message… Sure life hands us all lemons occasionally, but the mindset to “make lemonade” is an admirable quality, that I try to live to.
When I read this, I was reminded of a friend of mine just recently. The closure of his bricks and mortar retail store, an impossibly hot Queensland summer week in a house with no air conditioning, bushfires around and just to top it off he and his wife were struck down with Whooping Cough!
It would have been enough to make most people curl up in a tight ball of self-pity. Instead, this man picked himself up every morning and got on with the DOING. He has been learning the ropes of online selling and this week, without the restraints of the retail store, has kicked the proverbial butt.
Online stores have been built, products have been sourced, great images were taken and decent images shot. The next step, which I have no doubt will happen VERY quickly, is to run a Facebook campaign with the aim of going viral and driving lots of buyers to his products just in time for Christmas.
So not only has he made “lemonade,” I think there might be a good shot of Vodka in that tasty drink too 🙂
He has certainly proven to me this week that while “It is what it is” with the right mindset “it will become whatever YOU make it”
May we all have the power to do the same 🙂
Nov 22, 2018 | Home and Environment, Personal Development
I saw this lovely little poem recently by author Mary Stuber. Initially I smiled and laughed to myself, then I really thought about it and how true it is.
We are blessed that we can have food on our plates and a safe home in which to prepare and eat meals.
It made me think about how often we complain about little things and how, with a simple reframe we can turn an annoyance into a blessing.
Some examples:
Do you complain that the kids have left toys all over the living room floor?
How blessed that, not only do you have children when so many cannot, but you have had the resources in your budget to be able to provide them with not only lots of toys, but a living room in which to play.
Did you have a minor car accident and now have a repair bill?
How blessed that it is only the car with a few scratches and dents and that you, your family or other people were not injured.
Are you complaining about the cost of Christmas?
How blessed are you that you have a large family and circle of friends that love you and deserve your generosity.
I could go on and on. It is an important mindset “hack” on the way to happiness, to be able to find the good in all situations. I am often astounded and inspired by people who have had the darkest of situations and find strength and light when they are able to focus on any tiny piece of “silver lining”
I am attempting to make it my habit of stopping myself when I have complaint surface and reframe to find the good.
Thank God for Dirty Dishes;
Thank God for dirty dishes;
They have a tale to tell.
While others may go hungry,
We’re eating very well
With home, health, and happiness,
I shouldn’t want to fuss;
By the stack of evidence,
God’s been very good to us.
Author: Mary Stuber
Aug 29, 2018 | Courses, Personal Development
A friend recently commented that they have no idea how I fit everything into my days, and stay sane 🙂
Yes, it is true that I always have a heap of things going on at one time, and also a number of plans that are ready to burst into fruition in the future. Between my husband and I, we run 3 businesses, I also try and keep up with this blog and keep the house clean and tidy.
Like many women, I am pretty good at juggling life and getting things done. But I am going to let you in a little secret. I do have a system. I have had a diary/planner since high school. I have all appointments diarised so I know exactly where I should be on any given day.
I also have defined goals that I write down every year, month and week. Science has PROVEN that you need to write down your goals. I have a vision board that details my long term goals and then a physical planner that outlines exactly what I want my life to look like in one year. I do this around my birthday. It is like giving myself the present of an elite life.
I look at every area of my life and set a goal to achieve within that year. Once I have set my (often big stretch) goals, it is easy to chunk them into monthly goals and then further into weekly and sometimes even daily tasks. The old adage of “how to eat an elephant – one bite at a time” is fitting.
I am about to launch a 5 day challenge that will help you set goals, break them into tasks and achieve your ideal life. Stay tuned it is coming real soon. 🙂
Yay!!! It is here. Please check out my 5 Day Challenge for Getting $#!T done.
You can sign up here
Dec 7, 2017 | Personal Development, Vision Board, Wealth & Money
Did you read my recent post on what “they” say is the amount of money needed to retire? (it is here)
When this was originally reported, I said to my husband, “I am sure we could live on the pension as well as Mum & Dad.”
So, we decided to try it. Before making any sort of budget, I tracked our spending for 3 months to see exactly what we were spending, it was surprisingly low.
For our “live on the pension plan” we have not taken into consideration our mortgage or my husband’s car. We are working on the assumption that, like our parents, our home will be fully paid off and we will have just one car, which we will have no debt on, but will need funds to update regularly.
Every week I allocate the correct amount of cash for our budget needs within the confines of only having the amount for the current aged pension for a couple to live on. Bills are direct deposited to their relevant accounts (eg: I send $50 per week to our council for Rates, $50 a week to the Power company etc)
We have lived this way for the past 3 years or so and have not felt we have missed out on much at all. By not spending, we have seen a huge reduction in our debts. (BONUS)
This has spurred us on further to keep going with “living on the pension” for the next few years. We are aiming to be completely debt free in the next 2 years and then sell our businesses and be able to retire early. This of course will require a fairly decent amount of money in the bank, as we are both quite a way off being able to receive the actual pension.
My life of living a “Champagne Life on a (lite) Beer Budget” has been heavily worked with this way of living. Both my husband and I have our own businesses and they both do very well. From the outside, it appears we might splash the cash around quite readily, but in reality, we live within our “pension” budget.
I drive a new BMW which my business provides the funds for, there is money put aside in the “pension” budget to upgrade the car. Hubby’s business has work utes that we do not spend a lot on, as they are – well – work utes!
We plan on updating the BMW as often as we can well into retirement. We have found that the price of updating while the car has low mileage and is reasonably “new” is quite affordable and within our budget, especially when spread out over 3 years or so.
I love to travel, but our businesses are such that we can really only get away for the odd weekend, Easter and Christmas. I often find great deals for weekends away on daily deals sites that allow us to get away at a reasonable price. I also keep an eye on the airline deals and have been able to snag great deals on flights.
We both enjoy eating out and have a subscription to the Entertainment book each year. Using the vouchers, we can eat at more expensive restaurants than we would normally for half price. We also enjoy cooking, looking at restaurant menus and cooking similar meals at home for a fraction of the cost makes for an afternoon of culinary fun at home. A well stocked pantry and a good bulk butcher nearby, keep our grocery budget at a manageable level. It is the “grocery” section of the budget that I often find has a built-up surplus. This surplus gets either transferred to savings or put aside for meals out.
Like our parents, we do not “need” anything, so when asked what we want for a gift on birthday and Christmas, I often ask for experience type gifts. Vouchers for cafes, spa treatments etc are happily accepted.
The lessons we have learned from living within the pension amount is that, for us, it is achievable without any huge sacrifices. Our budget does not include any pension discounts from expenses such as utilities, registration, rates etc, so those will be bonuses if we receive them. We are blessed with good health and are conscious that chronic illness which requires long periods of expensive medications would be a burden on the budget.
Why not look at your own budget and decide if you could live on the pension?
