Day 3 - Setting Yourself Up for Long-Term Success

Welcome to Day 3.

The secret to achieving your Ideal Life is focusing on your vision and revising it as you go along.

Each month or so I will look in-depth at an area of my life audit and decide what I can do to improve something by just one step. 

For example – a few months ago I made a detailed Vision to upgrade our apartment.  I got quotes for larger works (a new vanity cabinet and shower screen) Now I had a dollar figure to target. Some sensible savings and it was not long until I could give the go ahead on the works. 

Then set my intentions to find some upgrade on some furniture pieces.  Doing a few Facebook Marketplace searches for “dining chairs” and all of a sudden, my feed was full of them.  It did not take long to be shown a set of 6 gorgeous chairs at a BARGIN. The people were moving overseas and selling everything off. (Sadly, the table was too large for our unit). 

😊  Then I sold our old chairs on marketplace and recouped half the cost of the new additions.  WIN!!

Step 1: Be-Do-Have

The Be-Do-Have exercise is one of my favourite tools in creating your ideal life.  Many life coaches and authors use this model to create change.

The basic premise of the Be-Do-Have model is to realise WHO you need to BE?
As we have discussed previously, success in any area of life should start with a clear vision of the  results you desire. If you don’t know what the goal is, it is impossible to tell if you’ve achieved success or not. 

Once we are really clear about what we want and why we want it, the game changing question is not ‘what do I need to DO?’ but ‘who do I need to BE?’

 Another way of asking this question is ‘”What the ideal life version of ME look like?”

One example of this is the fitness or weight loss goals so many of us have, yet never quite achieve.
It’s about who we have to BE to HAVE  a slim fit body.

We might need to learn the strategies to BE someone who knows how to find ways of dealing with stress or boredom other than eating and ways to get motivated out of procrastination about exercise.
Someone who can say NO to that second piece of cake and that someone who gets up 1/2 hour earlier in the morning to go for a run.

Another example might be that you set a goal to make $1 million in five years. That’s the result– the HAVE.
However, to get there, you have to BE skilled, and confident enough to behave in a certain way and to implement what needs to be done to achieve that.

 What kind of person makes it in their field of expertise, when most work hard for very little recognition or reward?  What must they believe about themselves? How do they dress? What is their relationship with money?   How do they walk when they enter a room?   If you can be this kind of person, then you can have  the same results as they do.

In other words to BE the person, that can DO what it takes to reach the HAVE (the goal).

 To show how the Be-Do-Have model transpires in the world, lets look at three different types of people.

 Let’s call them:

• The UNDERDOG
• The PLODDER
• The RICH

 The UNDERDOG lives their life in the order HAVE DO BE

They say, “When I HAVE enough (time, money, help) , then I’ll  be able DO the things I’ve always wanted to, and then I’ll BE rich and happy  If I had what that person has I could be as rich as them, but I don’t so I’ll never be rich.”

The underdog is always waiting for someone to change their life before they can see themselves moving out of the rut.

 The PLODDER is all about DO HAVE BE

They say, “The more I DO, the more I’ll HAVE. The more I’ll HAVE, the happier I’ll BE”.  
They work and work and work. They might climb the corporate ladder and be rewarded with bigger and  bigger salaries.

The problem is, the more they do, the more there is still to do and the more they have  there is still more to have.  By working and not taking the time to enjoy what they have, they often forget to BE

 The  RICH arranges their life with the intentional order of  BE DO HAVE

They say, “It is not what do I need to HAVE before I can start, or what  I need to DO… but who do I need to BE?”

What kind of person would have access to the kind of outcomes I want?  What does that person DO?  By Being and Doing, the HAVING often manifests itself.

Be Do Have is definitely the rarest of the three types and maybe a little away from the norm. however it is the most powerful.

Cultivating the BE-DO-HAVE mindset can be worked on by firstly writing your goals backwards.

Start with the HAVE and then set your intention to DO what it takes to achieve that then work on the person you need to BE. As I mentioned before, the goal might be a healthier version of you.  To achieve that, you need to BE the person that gets up early to DO a gym class to HAVE a leaner body.

Attracting and creating your ideal life is not an overnight thing.  It requires daily reminders and regular reinforcement of your desires.   

Just like you set an alarm to wake you up in the morning or reminders on your phone to help remember events, it is important to set yourself reminders in little ways throughout your life to really bed that vision of living your ideal life firmly into your psyche.

Take a look back at your Life Audit and the “Ideal Day” exercise.  How can you use little things to remind you of your ultimate life?  

Having your morning coffee in a gorgeous mug rather than the chipped one you always use.  (In fact throw that out, chipped and broken china has no place in your ideal life) Lovely high end bone china cups can be picked up for a few dollars from charity stores.

Each morning, think over your entire day. How can you improve today by just one small step to move it toward the ideal?

There are a number of ways to create these reminders.  
The adage “fake it ‘til you make it” comes to mind here.

• Have that coffee and cake date at a 5-star hotel lobby, It costs no more than the busy kiosk in the middle of the shopping centre.
• Go window shopping in boutiques Pretty Woman style.
• Test drive your ideal car (and buy a keyring while you are at the dealership)
• Go to the open houses of your ideal home.    

Surround yourself with these experiences and let them wash over you.  
Feel it seep in as being the normal, comfortable way you now live your life.

Other little, everyday ideas could be:

• Create popups on your phone reminding you that you have an Ideal Life
• change your passwords to your goal eg: $5000Minimum
• Print out your vision board, frame it and hang it where you will see it every day.
• Keep one large banknote in your wallet, so each time you pay for something you are reminded that there is plenty of cash.
• Have inspirational mantras, pictures or a copy of your vision board as the screen saver on your computer and phone.

The purpose of these reinforcements is to keep your attitude positive and to remind you that, you can be the type of person who has the ideal life.

Step 3: Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful emotion. Giving thanks for the things you DO have will keep you motivated and moving forward.

Practising gratitude is useful because:

• it makes you feel good immediately.
• you will feel a renewed fondness and closeness to those you are grateful for
• Life becomes more enjoyable
• It’s good for your health
• It’s easier to cope with tough times
• Good things in life don’t stick in our heads as easily as bad events.

This last point is really important. We tend to remember vividly when bad things happen, and the time we spend thinking about them makes us unhappy. 

Take for example a test in school, you may have got 98 out of 100, but rather than rejoicing in that, we focus on those 2 questions we got wrong and prevented a perfect score.  

By making an effort to increase how often we experience gratitude, it can balance out some of the negative stuff.

To create a Gratitude Practice, every evening, while planning for your next day, write down the one thing that you are grateful for today.  What was the best thing that happened to you today?  What made you feel closer to your ideal life?  

Throughout your day, express gratitude for the little things. Say thank you to the checkout person at the supermarket, smile at strangers in the street or literally stop and smell a flower.

Remember, there is always someone worse off, so even if you are having a really bad day, give thanks that you opened your eyes and put your feet on the floor this morning.

As you do the work toward your ideal life, you may find some backlash aimed at you.  
You may receive some snide comments or get wind of some nasty gossip.

They  may worry that this new you is changing in ways that may not be for the best.

STOP..  

People grow in different ways and often growth can be a barrier and trigger some deep-seated fears. Keep in mind that your path involves creating YOUR ideal life, not theirs.   I am sure that in your ideal life, your partner, family and friends play an important role.

In the early stage of your journey, you will no doubt encounter many of your own blocks, which in turn may trigger theirs.  

Peoples own blocks and fears might make them worry that you are going to “outgrow” them and you will not have time for them anymore.  
You may even find yourself dodging questions about what you are doing, or hiding your successes.

Try to initiate honest open discussions with people if they question your motives.  

This can be especially difficult with your partner.  Reassure them that it is not about them being “less” in any way, but rather a journey you can both take together.  

Have them do their own life audit, you do not have to share the results with each other.

Stay positive and keep finding those tiny ways you can up-level that may not even be noticeable to anybody but you.

Action Steps

Be-Do-Have Exercise:

Identify the person you need to BE  to achieve your goals.
Start small by practicing habits that align with your ideal self.

Daily Reminders:

Look for ways keep your vision alive
Swap everyday items for small luxuries (e.g., a beautiful mug).
Immerse yourself in experiences that reflect your ideal life.

Gratitude Practice:

Write down one thing you’re grateful for every evening.
Acknowledge small wins and moments that bring you closer to your ideal life.

Protect Your Vision:

Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Seek out friends or communities that uplift and inspire you.
Remind yourself daily of your vision and why it matters to you, especially when facing criticism or doubt.

Finally, searching out like minded people can be a huge relief.  My Rise to RICH Membership is just this.  A group of like-minded ladies who are on the quest to create their ideal life, one step at a time.
Each month we take one segment from the Life Audit and break it down into smaller chunks and aim to improve in small achievable steps.  Then the trick is to NEVER go back 😊

I would love you to join me.  The cost is $9.95 per month (less than Netflix) or $99 for a full year.  As a special bonus, I am offering you the first month at just $1.00

To learn more and join visit this page.  

I’m so grateful to have spent these couple of days with you. 
I hope I have helped you to start to find the clarity of the path to your ideal life.

Don’t forget to share your vision or insights in our community group.

 Let’s make 2025 your best year yet!

PS: You can download today’s lesson as a PDF eBook here